Just too Troublesome
by wubbzy
Summary: How did Shikamaru go from not understanding one thing about women, to becoming the ultimate love guru? It all started in a bar... Shikamaru centric. NaruSaku.


_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Naruto.

 _AN:_ Just a quick fic I had in my files that I wanted to post since the Naruto series is over. I don't know if I should add another chapter to this but let me know if you think so after you read! AU in the fact that the last Naruto movie didn't happen, etc.

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 **Just too Troublesome**

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The lights were only faintly doused, but he was pleased with this. He didn't like things too bright. He would rather have things a moderate dimming: not to dim, not to bright. The scenery wasn't somewhere Shikamaru would find his persona in, but the secluded place was tranquil. There weren't too many people who showed up at this particular bar, so it gave him time to hear himself think.

Although, for being a genius, he was being idiotic for going to a bar, seeing as the Hokage was enamored with bars. After all, where else was she going to get her sake? However, he found this place was isolated, and this by far wasn't the most known bar he'd find the Hokage in. He was safe for now.

He himself, never did drink, believe it or not. Although he did have to buy a drink so he wouldn't get kicked out. He'd spend hours with that small little saucer, sometimes even watching it swirl. He'd rather walk in, buy a drink, have a smoke, talk to the bar tender for a while when he felt like it, and then be lazily on his way. He was still not prepared to hear what was going to happen next, but definitely ready to take it like a man either way.

It was such a nice routine that he did it almost every night. This started ever since Tsunade coerced him into organizing the next Chuunin exams again. He sighed just thinking about. It wasn't so much that he wouldn't do it, it was more of he needed a small break from the noisy woman always bickering at him, because he was the one who had to organize everything. Having just a few moments to himself…

Yes, such a nice routine it was.

"S-Shikamaru?" He nearly jumped when he heard his name being called. He turned and sighed in annoyance. Of course, only Naruto could ruin such a great routine like the one he had.

"Naruto? What are you doing here?" he languidly asked. Shikamaru was puzzled by Naruto once again when he sauntered towards him and slug an arm around his neck. Shikamaru cringed at the smell of a man who reeked of alcohol. It was as if the blond had showered in booze. Naruto Uzumaki was always unpredictable, so he kind of should have expected something like this to happen. Seriously, who gets drunk and then goes into a bar? He sighed, realizing it was all too troubling. Naruto was too troubling.

"I'm… I don't know. But Shikamaru, I need to ask ya' 'bout somethin'," Naruto stammered, a small hiccup hitting Shikamaru's ear. Shikamaru was not amused.

"Look, Naruto, whatever you need to ask me, it should wait until you're not drunk," he suggested, crushing the cigarette bud in an ash tray.

"B-but, it's important! I need to talk to someone now!" Naruto gasped, his eyes glazed and flickering with fear. Shikamaru sighed.

"What do you want?"

"It's about Sakura-chan!" Naruto attempted to whisper out, a bit of saliva spraying out as he slumped over Shikamaru.

"Hey, watch it!" Shikamaru told him as he finally was able to seat him in a stool. He grabbed a napkin and swiped away any unwanted spray. He had just wished he'd get the odor that was pervading the area to vanish. "Anyways, if it's about women, then you can count me out; I can't help you with that subject."

"You have to help me! Shikamaru, aren't you a genius?" Shikamaru inwardly groaned, disliking the idea of correlating him with the term genius. There was a simple reason why: everyone thought that he knew everything because he was a genius. Just because he was a genius of strategy, did not, and would never mean he was a genius at everything. It was a common misconception, and a stupid one at that. Everyone was ignorant to many things. Lee was a genius at taijutsu, but he would never understand the workings of genjutsu or ninjutsu. Neji and Sasuke were always told they were geniuses, but they hardly knew the meaning of socialize (although, admittedly, he wasn't garrulous either), however, the point was still valid. Naruto himself was a genius (oh, how this came up in his mind, he would never know), instilling inspiration into other people, and somehow, someway, getting them the drive they need to get through whatever they were going through. Needless to say, Naruto was also an idiot. A big idiot, and that was an understatement. Just as Shikamaru would most likely never understand how to cook the great rice dumplings or soldier pills that Choji made, he was also never going to understand women.

However, he couldn't help but think that if there was a man out there that did understand women, he would be the absolute genius of geniuses. He had convinced himself that the women species were the epitome of obscurity, and any man who could figure them out should be worshiped for life.

Instead of explaining all this, already evaluating the drunken blond would have no idea what he was even talking about (and if he did, he would soon forget in a matter of seconds), he instead light another cigarette and mumbled, "How troublesome."

"You're telling me." Naruto slumped, his hand holding up his head as he gazed at nothing in particular. "You see, Sakura-chan's been actin' weird lately."

"I hope you realize I don't know a single thing about women," Shikamaru tried to explain. He should have known it would have been in vain, for anything he said, that wasn't what the blond wanted to hear, would just fly over his head.

"I don't know, man, it's like she's been avoiding me or somethin'."

Shikamaru sighed, "Look, I have bigger things to worry about than your love quarrels. Why don't you talk to her yourself and leave me out of this." He flinched when he heard a roaring laughter echo throughout the bar.

"Hey, great advice man. I'm a do just that." Naruto patted Shikamaru just a bit too roughly, sluggishly standing up from his stool. "Oh, hey, are you gonna drink that?" Shikamaru sighed, handing the sake his way. Naruto quickly gulped it down as he used Shikamaru's shoulder for balance. "Thanks again, man." Naruto waved and staggered out. As Shikamaru watched the blond leave, he took another inhale of his cigarette. Shikamaru sighed, taking an exhale, smoke permeating the air.

"How troublesome."

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There were many things Shikamaru liked about this bar in particular. On weekdays, he could only find the bar tender, a man always trying to repair his portable television, a woman with man who was trying to pick her up - the woman always declining his advances. The best part was this scene would happen so fast, that the rest of the night would almost be complete silence. This was besides the water gushing out when the bartender washed dishes, the mopping of the wooden floor, or the light sound of the old man frustrated with his tiny television, only to fall asleep after a few minutes in his effort to fix it.

It had been such a long day. He needed some time to himself at the moment. Not only had Tsunade been blabbering into his ear about the Chuunin exams, but Ino was complaining to him about gossip he really didn't care about –he made sure he didn't tell her that, or else she would make a bigger fuss about how he was inconsiderate and how it wouldn't kill him to listen to her once in a while.

He groaned, taking out his lighter and then taking a big inhale of his cigarette once lit. It was all too troublesome.

"What may I get you?" a rather young girl with auburn locks asked, continuing to dry a cup as she placed the small towel over her shoulders. He sighed.

"I'll get some sake." Shikamaru closed his eyes, wishing the girl didn't hum while she worked. He wished the old man was there instead of this girl. She must work swing shift. He sighed, wishing he came at his usual time. The old man that would usually greet him was a quiet fellow, never making casual conversation unless he had helpful information. He sighed, taking another inhale of his cigarette.

And if his luck hadn't gotten any worse…

He heard the door of the bar slam open, Naruto's voice ringing through the dainty bar.

"S-Shikamaru!" Naruto wobbled towards the man. Great, he was drunk again. He must have been incredibly lucky.

He sighed. "What do you want, Naruto?"

"I want to tell you that your advice sucked!" he shouted into his ear as if he were on the other side of the room. Shikamaru groaned, wondering if his ear drums were severed by his voice.

However, what he said did interest him a bit. He raised an eyebrow in thought.

"What advice?" he questioned.

"W-what?" Naruto's eyes drooped as he stared at the man, trying to distinguish him in such dim lighting. "Oh, anyways… your advice totally sucked! I tried talking to her about it, and she just kicked my ass!"

"Let me guess- you were drunk?" he assumed, a small smirk forming.

"Well, I think so. I don't remember much of what happened, actually," Naruto chuckled. "Hey, Miss, get me a sake please!" he said, staggering over his words a bit.

"Don't you think you're already too wasted for another rink?" he inquired.

"Pfft, I can drink as much as I want. Remember when I out drank that dumb guy at Kiba's birthday party?" Naruto smiled, nostalgia and pride running through him. "I had more sake back then."

"And you were wasted then, as well," Shikamaru reminded. For once Naruto remained silent in thought.

"Really?"

"Yup, you passed out right after you puked." Shikamaru light another cigarette and nonchalantly shrugged at his friend's confusion.

"Oh," he finally said. "Anyways, Sakura-chan didn't even listen to me!" Shikamaru groaned, not wanting to get back on this subject again.

"You should really go. Seriously, you're way to drunk to even be thinking about Sakura. You'll probably go to her house and do something stupid," he muttered, predicting him quite well. Naruto's eyes widened in realization.

"You're absolutely right! I should just leave right now and tell her how I feel, or whatever you just said. Thanks, man." Again, with the damn nudge, only this time he spilled the sake he was holding. "S-sorry. I'll pay you back." And he stumbled out to Sakura's house.

Shikamaru sighed, wondering if hearing his blond friend's ridiculous drunk tangent was actually worth having some time to himself (which really wasn't time to himself anymore). Naruto's antics were beginning to become more frustrating than the Chuunin exams. He couldn't believe it, but Naruto's bitching was getting worse than Tsunade's.

Speak of the devil…

"Shikamaru! What the hell are you doing here? You have a job!" The noise was agonizing to his poor eardrums. He'd have to hear a half an hour of her berating him on how he needed to help the committee that proctored the exam. No, he wouldn't say anything else; he would remain silent during her barrage of shouts, for he knew not to interrupt a woman when she was angry.

To say the least, he took back what he said about Naruto's bitching. Tsunade's included a pounding through the wall, which his back wouldn't look forward to in the morning.

And he was supposed to work in these conditions?

"Troublesome."

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He was thankful that the bartender didn't question him. He just shrugged and returned to his work. This was why he liked the old man here. If he was taking a nap with his face imprinted on the wooden counter, he would not question it; he would instead just look away with indifference. Shikamaru was so exhausted, ready for his nap.

He groaned loudly, stretching while grabbing his pack of cigarettes and his lighter on instinct. He casually light one cigarette. He breathed in, and exhaled deeply in nothing but relief at the silence. The lights continued to remain dim, the crowd continued to remain small, and the room continued to remain silent. It was so stable.

It was all too stable.

He wouldn't say he was paranoid per say, but he was waiting, already anticipating that something was going to happen. Something always happened.

After a few seconds, he relaxed. No Tsunade- he finished all the preparation for the Chuunin Exams, and all was left for him to do was show up on the day of the exams. She wouldn't nag him – at least on that- anymore.

He heard a small ding, meaning someone just came through the doors. He closed his eyes in anticipation, wondering when he'd hear a shout, calling his name. Instead, he heard the stool next to him get occupied. Shikamaru stared, surprised the man next to him wasn't screaming, wasn't slamming his fist on the counter, or wasn't even drunk.

This definitely peaked his interest.

Curiously, he asked, "I'm surprised you aren't drunk, Naruto." The blond turned to his companion, beaming.

"Sakura-chan said that I can't be drinking excessive sake anymore, because it makes me do idiotic things, or whatever she was yelling about last night." Naruto shrugged. "I can't remember much of what happened last night, but I know it must have been amazing," Naruto grinned, a sparkle in his sapphire orbs. He gazed up, just trying to remember the events that transpired. Shikamaru sighed, losing interest pretty fast. He took another inhale of his cigarette.

The only thing that left his mouth was a mumbled, "hmm."

"I don't know what I did last night, but whatever you told me, was amazing advice, Shikamaru!" Naruto praised him as he pat him on the back, however, it wasn't as rough as his past nudges. Shikamaru really appreciated that fact. "You may act like you don't understand women, but you're like a real ladies man, a true genius. You're like a love guru, or whatever they call 'em." Naruto gave him a toothy grin, staring at the guy with a quirked eyebrow. "Anyways, I have to go. I need to get ready for later, I'll get my ass kicked for sure if I'm late for my date." Shikamaru sighed, twirling the sake in his saucer when Naruto held on to his shoulder, nodding in acknowledgment and farewell. He then patted his back once more, causing nearly all of his sake to ricochet towards the counter.

"Oops, sorry. I'll pay you back for that. Later!" he chuckled as he waved goodbye.

"Hmm," Shikamaru contemplated, closing his eyes in pure concentration. He inhaled and exhaled, both distressingly and rather lethargically…somehow in a way only Shikamaru knew. "No more drunken Naruto moseying around here, eh?"

It was only then, when he realized, that this was the last time he'd find a drunken Naruto there. His cigarette fell out of his agape mouth. His eyes widened in pure astonishment. It was a miracle, in a weird kind of way.

He smiled, smashing the bud into the small ash tray. He couldn't help but smirk. The bartender walked over, noticing the immediate change in the young man.

"You seem happier," the bartender noticed. He grinned. "Here, I'll pour you more sake. On the house," he offered, realizing his blond friend spilled his first drink of sake.

When the bartender poured more in, Shikamaru took the sake in his hand, swirling it in his saucer as he looked at it. He smirked some more, raising his saucer.

He never thought something like this would give him so much euphoria. Knowing that the two of them were together and Naruto wouldn't waltz in there, screaming his name again, made him feel nothing but bliss. It felt a tad better than masturbation, even.

The world seemed just a little bit brighter.

And Shikamaru would definitely drink to that.

"Bottoms up."

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 _AN:_ This was supposed to be kind of a light, funny read. I hope you guys liked it! I might add another chapter to this, in the POV of either Naruto or Sakura, to see what happened to them. What do you guys think? I think I posted this up before, actually. Can't really remember.

Please, share your thoughts! Reviews are welcomed and appreciated! Thanks and see you all next time!


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